Diabetes Jokes

Now, diabetes is no laughing matter, don’t get me wrong. But, at the same time, if you can’t laugh at it what can you do?

I’m a great believer in making light of situations wherever possible, and one of the best ways to do this is with a joke every now and then. Whether that’s because you’ve gone real low and you’re stressing out your partner or loved ones or even if your diabetic friend’s blood sugar reading is through the roof and they’re frustrated by what they’re seeing. 

This page is designed to be a one stop shop for the best diabetes jokes around. They’re not all mine, in fact hardly any of them are, but instead they have been collected from the depths of the internet and deposited into one easy to find location here. 

I also appreciate some of you guys might find this a little insensitive, possibly a little crass. That’s ok too, there are days when making light of a situation isn’t the right thing to do and, if you’re having one of those days, please feel free to jump over to another page on the blog.

This page of diabetic jokes isn’t designed to upset anyone, in fact it’s only meant to encourage a giggle or two! 

Diabetes Joke Videos

Really relatable and genuinely funny, I actually think this is what my blood sugar would sound like if it could talk. I follow this guy on Instagram as well, he shares some top notch memes @_betweentwolines

Famously diabetic comedian (although he feels that’s a very confusing moniker) Ed Gamble spends 5 minutes running through some very relatable, very funny, comedy based on T1D. Was genuinely laughing throughout this.

Get yourself round the canned laughter, and pretty hammy acting, and this is a pretty decent skit. Tongue in cheek representation of the ignorance diabetics come up against.  

One word, diabetuhs

There’s also loads of ‘things people say to diabetics’ videos on YouTube which can be good if you’re in the mood but that’s not what this content is about.

Funny Diabetic Memes

This list could theoretically go on forever, as there is no shortage of funny diabetes memes out there, so I have chosen a select few from these 3 pinterest boards:

https://pin.it/6gqvYFh

https://pin.it/6uiHC3v

https://pin.it/1L5en4C

Still haven’t quite mastered this skill yet! 

That one’s painfully relatable. Then you prick it again, squeeze, and both holes start bleeding!

Me, at work, a lot 

With a strong chance of swearing

Remind me to never let you near my Novorapid…

Diabetic Gags

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for a clever play on words or well timed delivery, here are some of the best diabetic gags out there

What’s a diabetics drug of choice?
Diet coke

I was talking to my diabetic friend the other day.
He said, “this new high sugar diet I’m on is great! I lost 30 pounds already. Cost me an arm and a leg though…”

A doctor just flirted with me. She also said that i was really sweet.
Well her exact words were “severely diabetic” but I know what she meant. I got the hint.

Why did the diabetic win the weight lifting competition?
Because he was so good at pumping.

What is small, brown and smells like caramel?
A diabetic who has been struck by lightning

What do you call a cow with no legs?
My fat, diabetic sister.

Laughter is the best medicine.
Unless you’re diabetic, then insulin is pretty high on the list.

What do you call a dad with diabetes?
A sugar daddy

Do you know the worst thing about being an alcoholic with diabetes?
All the shots

Just went to a diabetes awareness website
And they asked me if i accept cookies.

Did you hear about the guy who killed himself cause the doctor had to amputate his toes due to complications with diabetes?
I guess he was also lack toes intolerant.

Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.
It could be a lifesaver.

John has 150 chocolate bars and eats 100, what does John now have? 
Diabetes, John has diabetes 

Killed a guy with diabetes
It was a piece of cake.

Diabetes Joke One Liners

Alongside gags, one liners are up there as the best types of diabetes jokes around. No long payoff or convoluted stories, just the punch line! 

I’m not ill, my pancreas is just lazy

A spoonful of insulin helps the sugar go down 

I ask my girlfriend if she’s on her period, she asks me to check my blood sugar 

Bloodsugar, the world’s greatest scapegoat 

You’re so sweet I went into DKA 

There’s a reason it’s called diabetes, not liveabetes… 

And here’s a short list from Beyond Type 1 of just plain bad diabetes jokes, made by non-diabetics: https://beyondtype1.org/bad-diabetes-jokes-wall-shame/ (I mean, I still kind of found them funny but maybe that makes me a bad person?)

Got a good diabetes joke that just has to be shared with the community? Let me know on social media!